Thankful that we're fertile and fat.....

As it turns out the little sperm met the egg and they got along great. However, together they weren't strong enough to hold on and make it through. You get the idea, right? Yep, that's right we're not pregnant yet and now we've got to do it all over again. This next time I believe that we'll be "doing it" at exit 39 off of interstate 5. Needless to say, we're both sort of let down and a little sad while helping each other to be hopeful, positive and strong.

I was concerned about T. for a few days as she told me what her symptoms were and that she thought she was pregnant. Again, both Tom and I are so grateful to her for what she is doing. Her physical discomfort is unreal.

Yesterday was thanksgiving and it was really really lovely. The food was great (if I do say so myself)

Tom's whole family was here including both grandmas and his new neice, Katelyn. It was fun to dote over her. Not only is she adorable but gorgeous too. Strange as it is, she looks like Tom when he was an infant.

We're off to see the RENT downtown and to pass the grey, rainy day together while we hope for the future and dream of what will be.

No Day But Today.

Wait-o-Rama

Well, on November 8th we did our first insemination. Whooo hoo!! Candles, music from the Buddha bar and of course a sterile cup. What else do you need? And now, we wait. Oh and then we wait some more. We're both pretty excited and want to know if we're pregnant or not. Okay, excited is understated. It's so odd;

1) we were excited to put the ad in,
2) we were excited to meet T.,
3) we were excited to find a lawyer,
4) we were excited to sign the contract (that was done on the 7th),
5) we were excited to do the insemination,
6) and now we're excited to find out if we are pregnant or not.

You see the thing is that with each one of these steps there is a"what if" dance that goes on in my head. Enough to drive one completely nuts. Completely nuts, as if I wasn't already. I look at Tom when he talks about it and his eyes light up. He beams. We're going to be great parents although Tom has already relegated me to the "mean mommy" position.

I just can't wait for this kid to be born so that we can love it to death. Okay, not "to death" but you get the idea......

So, there is this website that I came across with some really funny videos. As long as we're talking about babies, check this one out:



Let me know what you think.

everyday is a little more exciting

Everything is moving right along. Our surrogacy contract was finished at the beginning of this week and T. received it yesterday only to shoot off an email to Tom and I how perfect it was and how excited she is to move forward. So, now it's off to the drugstore to buy the appropriate accoutrements, at least for our end of the deal. T. is taking care of the things that she needs to make this happen for her part (Thank God!!). She is such a fantastic person on so many levels.

Tom and I had a chat the other night about how we're no longer going to indulge people's negativity around our process. It is bizarre to me how people feel so comfortable asking and saying the oddest, most negative, fearful things. Genuine interest, concern, curiousity, excitement is certainly appreciated. Fear projections from acquaintences and from family members, not so good. The "aren't you afraid she is going to want to keep it" question. Um, like we haven't thought about that at all. Um, like we didn't just drop thousands of dollars on a lawyer to write up a contract. The "are you going to have her psychologically, genetically tested?" question. Why is it that we have to defend T.? Why is it that we have to defend this person who is willing to lend us her body, her life for 9 months. Why is it that we have to be put in a position to defend this person who is helping us to create our own family not because she is being paid (she's not) but because she can and she wants to do this, not just for someone but for us. I suppose that as a future therapist, I should be able to answer these questions. Actually, I know the answer I know that Tom and I are fortunate to have faith in our intuition, in ourselves, in each other in humanity and in T. to know that this is possible, to trust that this will work out exactly how it is supposed to. That is the best answer that I have and the one that suits me fine.

So, it begins. Till next time - Larry.